Sunday, March 29


This morning I peed over a stick to see what the results would be. Two stripes means pregnant, one stripe means you’re either not pregnant, or there’s not enough hormone to be traced. I thought I knew what life was about until I started googling topics related to motherhood. There’s a whole world out there, a seperate reality of women who are desperate to have a child. According to some sites you can still expect twins, even if the results of multiple tests are negative. I think that waiting for your period is more excruciating than waiting for a lover, it makes love seem like a complete waste of time. To cheer myself up I had a haircut on Saturday. My hairdresser, an attractive woman who is one year younger than me, turned out to be four months pregnant. “That’s wonderful,” I said, while studying her face. She looked so happy and peaceful, so at ease with herself. “It wasn’t something we planned,” she said, “but it’s welcome.” I felt like I had been given a part in a Russian play. She gave me the same haircut as usual, and when I left she gave me free shampoo.