Sunday, October 18


Five more weeks to go before I’m leaving the office for good. Even though they say the human body is designed to work, I am quite happy to be leaving soon. Not having to sell my time for money makes me feel more free than I have been in years. Simple pleasures suddenly become more profound and meaningful. During my lunchbreak I walk to the supermarket and look at all the beauty on display, the apples, the flowers, wondering why I feel so happy when I look at them. My crush on The Italian Man has faded, it has not yet been replaced by anything so far. I am so used to walking the streets alone that I wonder if it ever will be otherwise. I already know what I want to do with my free time: I want to travel more, desire less and drown myself in words.

Tuesday, October 6


My short trip to Italy not only cured me of Italian men, it basically cured me of men in general.
The first few days were pleasant, men of every age, posture or race reminded me that yes, in their eyes I was beautiful. How lovely to hear to word over and over again, especially when one feels rather down about oneself. While walking down the street, sitting down for coffee or preparing for a short trip to the shops, everywhere men stare at you and tell you what they think of your physique. After five days of non stop harrasment, I started to understand the icy behaviour of Italian girls. No wonder their attitude is ‘talk to the hand’ if everyone approaches you as if you are fresh meat. The first few days I wanted to be meat, to be desired only for the body that I have. But after a few days I realised: maybe I don’t just want to be desired for my body. Could it be that anyone would feel desire for my brain? An impossible question to answer, at least when you are walking down the streets in Southern Italy.