Monday, May 5


On Thursday night I met a friend for tea, gossip and comfort food. It was cold, too cold to sit outside on a terrace, but being tough and European we decided we would. After a few years of being single, my friend now has a boyfriend, a small detail which seems hard to miss. While eating cheese souffl├ęs she asked me about my love life, my plans for the near future and if I wanted to commit. I was focused on the warm cheese souffl├ęs between my fingers, the cold wind on my cheeks, the small pleasures of living in a town up North. My sense of happiness was slowly returning, but I still felt a sense of melancholy, a remnant of a winter that was now long gone. I thought about male companionship, the idea of losing my freedom, and if commitment would be a large sacrifice. In fact, what I really missed was someone who would clean my bathroom, who would make me dinner after a long day at work and bring me herbal tea. So that's what I told my friend: “I guess I don’t want a boyfriend, all I want is a butler with benefits.”